Bad Driving and The False Cry of Domestic Violence

It is truly a sad thing when women are truly abused by their husbands. It is also a sad thing when men are abused by their wives. BUT, define abuse. It seems to me that there are many, many things lumped into the category of abuse these days. That is, they are lumped into the category of abuse when the woman is the one crying wolf. Men could not get away with the false cries of abuse that some women resort to if they wanted to. Let me give you an example:

When my ex-wife left and cried abuse, she did it for one reason - control. EVERYTHING she has done since that day has proven this to be her motivation. When she left she made up a number of things that were so awful that I had supposedly done to her. There is one thing that is so silly that it sticks out in my mind. She said that I was abusive by stating that I did not like the way she drove the car. Yes, you heard me right. I evidently abused this poor woman by telling her that she was a bad driver. Well, guess what - SHE IS A BAD DRIVER! If I, as a man, were to holler abuse in order to try to get custody of my children and in order to get out of the marriage debt during the divorce, I would have been laughed out of the courtroom. If I would have stated that she abused me by cracking on my driving ability, I would have been put on a 72-hour hold in a psyche ward. BUT, woman who falsely accuse men of abuse do this sort of thing all of the time. Why is it allowed? The hell if I know!

The social services system is a joke. Men are deemed the eternal enemies and women the eternal victims. It is debateable as to whether court systems have become less biased toward the mother in custody cases, but one thing is sure: vindictive woman have counteracted any possibility of shared parenting by becoming the victim for their own gain. But what have they really gained? Not a damn thing. The true victims are the children who have been rendered fatherless by bogus abuse charges, bullshit counselors and psychiatrists, and centers for women and families that would not understand true family values if they were written on their hearts.

The system must be changed. Children are suffering. True victims of domestic violence are having their help and resources wasted by phonies like my ex-wife. Fathers are being torn from their families. Let's call a spade a spade. True and legitimate domestic violence is one of the most terrible things in the world. Liars, deceivers, and squanderers of resources to help real victims are just as bad. AND, you know what - A BAD DRIVER IS STILL A BAD DRIVER....

Why???

I am telling my story because I cannot hold it in anymore. I have been abused - Abused by a control-freak ex-wife who has abused and manipulated the system to get what she wants for the moment. I know there are woman who have been abused by men and they need the social services, women's programs, and legal systems to be their advocates. It is appalling what some men do to some women. BUT, it is not the norm. Those very abused women should stand with the alienated fathers, as false accusers, women who abuse the very resources which are setup for the REAL abused woman, are only making it more difficult for the hurting to get help.

I am sad that I do not feel comfortable revealing my identity on this blog. It is a very difficult thing to stand for something, yet not reveal your identity. BUT, if I reveal my identity, I am afraid it will harm my children. You see, I refuse to stand in the background and allow my kids to become fatherless because of the pride and self-centeredness of their mother. My kids need me. They need a dad. Children absolutely need their mother as well, and I would not try to alienate them from her as she has me. If I were to reveal who I am, it may hurt my court cases to pursue the ability to parent my children. One who lives to play the victim would love to be able to use such a site as this to twist and manipulate to fit her agenda.

So, I write to release frustration over the fact that I have been abused. I will not be a victim. I will fight, because my children need me to....

Wronged Dads, Sad Kids

I am a dad. I live to be a dad. My children mean the world to me. Pretty much everything I do revolves around them in some way, shape, or form. That has been the way is has been since God gifted them to me at their births. The Bible says, "Children are a blessing from God," and it is absolutely true.

I have traveled a rough road over the last few years. A few years back I went out of town on business only to return home to an empty house, a "Dear John" letter, and an unjustified and bogus protective order. The following days, weeks, months, and years brought a type of hell my way that I never could have imagined. Not only did I find out that my then wife was not the person I had thought she was, I nearly lost my children. Since that fateful business trip years ago, I have been fighting, within the bounds of the legal system, with everything that is in me to be what God has called me to be - A DAD.

One would never guess that a man would have to spend all of his money, time, effort, and resources to struggle to do what he ought to be doing anyway - parenting. How many of us have heard the stories of women who complain about "dead-beat" dads who never pay child support or take time to visit with their kids, never-the-less parent them!? But, for some of us who love our children very much, but have been alienated from our children by a vindictive and selfish spouse, our road to parenting is paved with massive legal fees, the humiliation of false accusation, and most significant - sad and deeply affected children.

This blog is meant to be a source of encouragement to those of you who are traveling that road. Honestly, it is focused on the plight of alienated dads, though I realize there are some moms in the same boat. I pray those mothers find some comfort and encouragement here as well. As you peruse the content here, I hope you find encouragement, comfort, information, and maybe a place to tell your story....